by Jacqueline Hall on 5 February 2019 2:33pm : 45
At various points in our lives, we look at our parents and consciously or unconsciously ask ‘Do I want to be like them?’. Through the journey of childhood and adolescence into adulthood this question, waits to be answered.
Through a process called anticipatory socialisation we’re exposed to ideas about our future occupation. You may have seen family members being unemployed, employed as cleaners or doctors. What you see directs you towards certain types of employment. Unless you step outside the box.
When I worked in the FE sector, many times I counselled people who, despite their grades hoped to become a ‘something’ because it was what their parents expected. They were at that point unable to satisfy their parent’s needs, but this didn’t stop them hoping. As a coach I work with people who, many years after taking a particular path find themselves unsatisfied and unfulfilled, wondering where the time has gone.
Maybe your family owns a business and you worked there during the holidays. Given that dynamic the questions to be answered include ‘Do I want to follow in the family’s footsteps?’, ‘Do I want to be about my family’s business?’, “Does my future lie in the business built by the previous generation/s?’.
The influencers in this process:
These influencers don’t carry equal weight but do have impact.
This is on several fronts:
In Thomas’s case, as expected, he worked in the family business with his siblings, and was well liked. Highly respected, it was anticipated that he would eventually take over the helm from his parents. Thomas struggled though, and really felt his future really lay elsewhere. His parents were disappointed when told, and his siblings felt he had not only let down his parents, but them as well. Although he eventually did return to the business, he realised it really wasn’t for him and left for good despite the internal and external upheaval and pressure experienced.
Personal Leadership Coaching will help you to forge your pathway. If you, or someone you know is struggling with the issues raised call 0203 290 1253.